haunting evidence

i wanted to read a book in the san beda law library that shirley showed me called "the devil's advocates: greatest closing arguments in criminal law." so i decided that i will get my copy when i visit my grandparents.

i did get a copy from barnes and noble last week. i was reading the second chapter involving a case on illegal searches and seizures, lo and behold, there lay the answer to the political law bar question number 5 in the case of rochin v. california where the evidence was held to be inadmissible because of the shocking conduct of the police against the human rights of the accused.

i knew i should have taken a break and read that book in the library.

Song of the Day: Prayer for the Dying (by Seal)

Been crossin' that bridge,

With lessons I've learned.

Playing with fire,

And not getting burned.

the yellow brick road

in the wizard of oz, a lost dorothy had to get to emerald city to see the wizard and find her way home. the good witch of the north told her to follow the yellow brick road and the munchkins echoed the good witch's advice with a song. lacking a yellow brick road in this journey, i remembered what a friend once said: "if you're lost, follow the signs."

i wonder where these signs will lead me.

i don't think i'm quite ready to see the man behind the curtain and click the ruby slippers to take me to san francisco. for now, i'd rather have the illusion that the great and powerful oz does exist.

Song of the Day: Never A Day (by Wood)
Could be a song on the radio
Could be that feeling from long ago
Could be that accidental photo I find
When I'm looking for something else
But I found you

denny crane

"Hope springs a kernel."
-Denny Crane

I think the Mad Cow's on to something.

quote for the day

"Alam mo ba kung gaano kalayo ang pagitan ng dalawang tao pag nagtalikuran na sila? Kailangan mong libutin ang buong mundo para lang makaharap ulit ang taong tinalikuran mo."

-Bob Ong

Hopefully, when that time comes, there will only be laughter and smiles and none of the what-might-have-beens.

Song of the Day: Collide (by Howie Day)

I'm quiet you know

You make a first impression

I've found I'm scared to know I'm always on your mind

misadventures

i have learned my lesson. i will pay attention to the paths i take, read the signs and remember where i took the wrong turn.

getting lost while out running has never been more exhilirating.

Song of the Day: Run (by Collective Soul)

Now in this world of purchase

I'm gonna buy back memories

To awaken some old qualities

Have I got a long way to run.

recharged

in the Bible, the people built the tower of babel with the vision of building a tower that would reach the heavens. God prevented its completion by sending down a language barrier so that nobody would understand each other. apparently, the babel tower was higher than the Empire State Building because people still understood each other when they got to the top to capture that breathtaking view of the busy streets below.

exploring 7000 year old caverns is something different altogether. my 70-year-old grandfather put me to shame. he did not show any signs of discomfort during the tour and walked a whole lot faster than i did. for me it was a workout, the supposedly healthy 26-year-old who climbed five floors during the four bar sundays of september.

things looked different from 86 floors above manhattan and from 150 feet beneath northern virginia... a little more clear, maybe. never mind the fog and the poor lighting.

Song of the Day: Babylon (by David Gray)
Shining , Sky is fading red to blue
I'm kicking through the Autumn leaves
And wondering where it is you might be going to

once upon a monday

on a monday morning 12 years ago, there was an argument between an ordinary fourteen year-old girl and a cousin of the jordanian prince arising from the gentlemanly gesture of pouring milk for her...

on a monday morning six months ago, a fresh graduate from law school woke up with a smile on her face putting off the worries about the bar exams till the next day...

on a monday morning four weeks ago, a barrister woke up with a huge headache worrying on how to forget the question on Warm Warm Honey by Mocha Warm...

on a monday morning seven days ago, an unemployed law graduate woke up to do the laundry and instead got a surprise visit from somebody unexpected...

this monday morning, the same person woke up with a smile turned toward the sunshine, not feeling the thirty degree weather outside and ready to slip her feet into her new discounted kate spade mary janes for a new road trip.

i think i may learn to love mondays.

Song of the Day: Life Is A Highway (by The Rascal Flatts)

There's no load that I can't hold

Road so rough, this I know

I'll be there when the light comes in

Tell 'em we're survivors

strange kindness

it's surprising how many people you'll meet in twenty hours of travel. especially what those twenty hours can do in changing lives.

there's the fresh nursing graduate seated next to you on the plane, about to try her luck in a faraway place...

the silent but surprisingly helpful japanese businessman on his way to his new york home...

the cheerful flight attendant who makes you feel at home in a boeing 747...

the french gentleman who makes sure that the ladies go first in boarding the plane...

the filipina airport security person who has been longing for tagalog conversation...

the young father seated next to you reading on how to deal with an explosive child and calming you down during a claustrophobic attack...

the fallen victoria's secret angel rambling about the airport, rushing to make her flight...

and the familiar eager faces of loved ones waiting for you at the airport, ready to take you in their arms bringing back memories of when you were five and the world was a simpler place.

Song of the Day: One (by U2)

One life with each other

Sisters, Brothers

One life but we're not the same

We get to carry each other

of monday surprises, bras and pajama parties

the perfect monday morning scene would be me stumbling through the house (while the rest of the pajama party-ers were asleep) carrying a huge green laundry basket wearing my class t-shirt and a pair of old sweatpants and walking upon the new object of my affection in the midst of the usual chaos of the bakeshop.

mondays never fail me. that's why there is a monday morning playlist on my iPod.

thank God i remembered to wear a bra.

Song of the Day: The Day Before I Went Away (by Texas)

I wish you'd known me when I was much younger

As I closed my eyes upon the world

But now an open mind which seems much stronger

A perfect doubting of your every word

You know I'm renowned

And feel its a lonely time I've had

But it never felt that bad

semper fidelis

for the first time, a music video brought me to tears.

early on a sunday morning, with nothing to watch, i started channel surfing and came upon daughtry's video of "what about now?" there were captions throughout the four minute song that made me want to do something to change the world, although i have no idea where or how to start. one of the captions read: today is in a corner of the world... someone is hurting, homeless, hungry... that someone could be you. it also asked the question that i had been asking since high school: i am just an average joe trying to make ends meet... can i make a difference?

i've been thinking about a lot of things these past few weeks. is the world so depressing now that all we could focus on is our own problems that make us oblivious to the bigger picture? we forget there are bigger things in the world that our petty issues like getting a food other than what we had asked for. we complain and grumble rather than be thankful that we at least have something and that we do not worry about how or where we will scavenge for our next meal.

maybe i cannot change the world alone. in one way or another, we are all hurting, homeless, hungry. the least we could do is share both the good and the bad. maybe we could not eliminate the pain, the loss or hunger but at least we can share the burden.

these are a few of the piercing statements in the video that i consider my litany:

i am THE DIFFERENCE
between justice and injustice
between right and wrong
the voice lives on when someone takes a stand and says
i am the end of poverty
i am a different path
i am believe in your humanity
i am a wave of compassion
i am the end of ignorance
i am the call for human rights
i am human
i am the hands that heal all mankind
i am light and the gift of vision
i am the heart that keeps a child alive
i am the dream that becomes reality

and my own statement:
i am ALWAYS FAITHFUL in the innate goodness of mankind.

slight miscalculation

on a tuesday morning came the realization that i was leaving in seven days, not eight. unlike the fridays spent packing my things for the hotel stay last september, i enjoyed preparing for this trip. by this time next week, i'll be thousands of feet above ground headed for a destination a million miles away where i could clear my head and find the things i lost. i will see my old friends monet, renoir and degas. i will visit lady liberty and the disney princesses. most of all, i will see my grandparents again, who always had faith when i had none.

one week.

Song of the Day: Across the Universe (by The Beatles)

Sounds of laughter, shades of life

Are ringing through my open ears

Exciting and inviting me

Limitless undying love

Which shines around me like a million suns

It calls me on and on across the universe.

counting down

nine days and i will be flying over the pacific to a "faraway place" as pambie calls it and on my way to finding myself again. i will once again gaze at the works of the great masters and get "princessized."

i'm all set, my bags are packed and until then, i will be singing this song.

Song of the Day: Hold On (by Wilson Phillips...

but the Dan Band's performing in the video)

Yeah I know that there is pain

But you hold on for one more day and you

Break free, break from the chains

banishing the diva non grata

in my graduation column, i wrote about being grateful for everything that comes our way. i somehow gave an optimistic view to all the struggles of law school. one of my best friends said that i was the most positive person she's ever known... that i could cruise by life with a smile and laugh at the biggest of problems. yes, i've had my diva moments but it took a lot to push me that way. i was always the shock absorber, the laughter in the rain, the song in silence. i have made excuses for people who get ticked off at the tiniest of errors (those that anybody would ignore) but somehow the bar sucked the optimism out of me and i've had more than my share of diva moments, complaining about the very things i am grateful for, making excuses mostly for my irrational behavior now. i am not going to spend any time finding out why or how it happened, if it was because of the stress or the music i listened to or simply just because. i might lose much more if i keep on thinking about it.

now, i have a lot of time in my hands and i can spend it looking for what i lost along the way. maybe i will find it on this trip and leave the diva attitude behind. maybe, i will once again find the music in the dead of night and re-learn to look for the rainbow after the rain. maybe, i will re-learn to be grateful for the blessings and the curses.

hemingway said that the world breaks everyone and afterward, many are strong in the broken places. what it doesn't break, it kills.
i refuse to die. the grateful person inside me has been broken but it will heal and will grow stronger. the inner ungrateful diva refused to break (being the defiant little b**ch that it is) and hence, i know that it will perish soon. i hope it will perish.

Song of the Day: Rainbow in the Sky (by Ziggy Marley)

Found i mercy in every sunrise

i am born again from the womb of the night

all i have, i have left behind

minds' eye, eyes, eye

a light will shine

ramblings

excited about my upcoming trip, i couldn't stop talking about it. lulu asked me where i would be going and i said the east coast and a week in california. and of course, being the eternal hopeless romantic, she said that if i run into my kenshin (even though san francisco is miles away from LA), it's one big sign that i can't ignore and i need to do something about it. it happens everyday but not to me, i know that now. all i can do is enjoy the ride, wish him well and see where it takes me.

one step at a time, that's my new mantra. always faithful, with courage, taking one step at a time.

Song of the Day: White Flag (by Dido)

And when we meet, which I'm sure we will

All that was there will be there still

I'll let it pass and hold my tongue

And you will think that I've moved on.

spanish 101

after an hour and a half of listening to "learn to speak spanish" on my iPod, all i can manage to remember is:

tengo hambre. quiero comer a hora.

(i am hungry. i want to eat now)

necesito saber hablar espanol a hora pero no puedo. no es posible.

(i need to know how to speak spanish now but i can't. it's impossible).

i should take kai's advice and write down the lyrics to the marimar theme song if asked to write in spanish for the FSO written exam.

Ayuda... madre de Dios!

Song of the Day: Dance of the Cucumber (from Veggie Tales)

Escuchen al pepino

(Listen to the cucubmer)

que dulce as su canto

(oh how sweet his voice)

la voz de su garganta perece un triar

(the breath from his throat is like a chorus of little birdies)