loving LB

my cellphone crashed, erasing all photos, mp3 files and notes i had on it. like resetting my ipod, i saw it as a sign that i needed to let my pda phone breathe. as i was looking for bedan hymn and up song downloads, i found the UPLB centennial song. i never felt prouder to be a uplb student than i do now.

ISANG DAAN
Isang daang taong pagsisilbi sa bayan

Isang daang taon ng kagitingan

Ginising ang ating puso’t isipan

Mula sa pagkakatulog ng kamalayan
CHORUS
Isang Daan tungo sa karunungan

Isang Daan tungo sa kagalingan

Daan na tinuro ng ating pamantasang hirangInilaan para sa’ting mga anak ng bayan

Dumating man ang hangin ng pagbabagoIskolar, huwag patitinag itaas ang kamao

Kasing lawak at ‘sing taas ng langit

Ang abot ng isipan mo
(Repeat CHORUS)
Magbago man ang panahon

Pamantasan nati’y ‘di patatalo

Iskolar ng bayan noon at ngayonLaging angat sa iba

Isang Daan tungo sa karunungan

Isang Daan tungo sa kagalingan

Isang Daan tungo sa karunungan

Isang Daan tungo sa kagalingan
(Repeat Chorus)

Song of the Day: Sailing (by Christopher Cross)

It's not far to Never Never Land

No reason to pretend

And if the wind is right you'll find the joy

Of innocence again

missing the sunshine

these are the places i will always remember, with the people whose memories i will keep close to my heart:

the nasc lecture hall where i met my first friends from block 16.

the umali house where i was welcomed into an organization that changed my life.

the humanities building that showed me true beauty through an old structure.

the fertility tree that disproved an old myth.

apartment 5, where the bizarre always took place from drinking by candlelight to running into doppelgangers.

the sociosoc tambayan, where ideas, opinions, laughter and cassava chips were shared.

Song of the Day: In My Life (The Beatles)

All these places have their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I've loved them all

In memory of Katherine Matienzo who was taken before her time.

To use Hemingway's words:

Best of all (s)he loved the fall
The leaves yellow on the cottonwoods
Leaves floating on the trout streams
And above the hills
The high blue windless skies
Now (s)he will be a part of them forever

WE'LL ALL MISS YOU KAETII. Smile on us from above.

100 Kwentong Peyups... a centennial post

WALKING ON SUNSHINE

(published by the Philippine Daily Inquirer June 21, 2008)

Six years ago, I had the honor of listening to the late Raul Roco give the commencement address at UPLB. He tried to ease our discomfort of being exposed to the cruel April sun by saying that body parts exposed to the sun are the toughest parts, and cracked a green joke by asking us to think which parts of our body were always hidden and the reason for hiding them-- because they were extra sensitive. He said that those exposed to the sun survive the most difficult challenges so the graduates who weren't protected by the shad shouldn't feel so bad because they were the tough ones. Of course, he said this as he jokingly compared us to body parts.

I was educated in a private school from prep until high school. I was in the shade for too long. I was occasionally exposed to the sun, through my high school outreach program and the annual brown envelopes we were given around October-- for World Mission Sunday. Somehow, this paled in comparison to the glaring sunlight of my UP education-- both inside and outside the classroom.

UPLB was never my first choice when I took the UPCAT. It was only a back-up, and I planned on transferring to Diliman or Manila by the time I reached my second year. Of course, life got in the way. I joined a school organization and my weekly trips home were redulced to coming home twice a month. It alarmed my mother, to the point where she asked my cousins if there was anything wrong.

There are experiences that are uniquely UPLB. People say that you're not a UPLB student until you've crossed the never-ending bridge or noticed how the jar held by a statue of Maria Makiling changed positions. UPLB is also famous for its "Fertility Tree"-- a tree which, according to urban legend, makes you pregnant when you touch it. Being the dumb freshman during PE 1, I leaned against the tree while tying my shoelace in the middle of the one-mile run. No, I did not get pregnant if that was your next question.

I've crawled underneath the gates of the St. Therese compound when I didn't make the curfew. I walked around the campus at 2AM, guiding friends home as they stumbled through the streets half-drunk. I attended History I classes at the IAST, a building up in Forestry, and rushed down to the Humanities building for Philo I. I forced myself to wake up at 7AM to attend the late great Dean Payawal's NASC II class. I learned that we are all children of the stars. I was locked out of my building because the hard-core tibak orgs were protesting the increase in tuition. I heard my Soc 116 professor lament on the curren state of the nation during the impeachment proceedings. I went to Sagada on a class trip to be exposed to the situation of the Igorot tribes living there. I went to the relocation area in San Mateo for a Soc 160 paper. I learned that I cannot change the world alone.

I realized that even my best efforts would result in a scolding-- a loud and public one-- resulting in fear that not even a grade of 1.25 could wipe out. I found out that I could be one of the top 5 students of my Stat 1 Lab Class and yet get a 4.0 in Anthropology. I had friends that could solve all the problems of this country in one drunken discussion. I met professors that changed my view of the world and sent a spark through me, encouraging me to make every effort I can to help change the world. I was introduced to the chilling philosophies of Hitler, to the brilliance of Machiavelli, and the gruesome Yanomamo tribe. I learned to walk slow, eat fast, exceed my alcohol limit at least once, sing and dance in public, and to ask questions no matter how stupid they may be. And if I don't get answers, I learned where and how to look for them: with patience and perseverance brought on by a thirst for knowledge.

When I go back to UPLB, I can't help but miss sitting at the Humanities steps and watching people. I miss the tambayan where one of my best friends would take our org's logbook and ask all the questions she could think of from "Will a change in administration change the Philippine society?" to "Anong mas masarap: banana o tomato ketchup?" Of course these questions would have different answers. Opinions were always welcome in UP. Disagreements were part of our weekly agenda during general assemblies.

There are still questions left unanswered like "Bakit may taba sa dulo ng barbeque?" but this only reinforces my desire to learn new things. My mother and my grandmother always said that UP was the best place to get a college education and I am living proof of that. Back in high school, I only though of UP as a school that accepted brilliant minds. I came to understand that it also molded the most extraordinary people. It gave its students character, uniquely UP. I can't pinpoint what specific characteristic it is but I'm positive it's there.

Now, I see UPLB as the sun. It gave me the light I needed to see the world for what it really was-- a big and scary place, corrupted by men but not impossible to change.

Kristine Nicole M. Espiritu

My Real Soul Mates

It's always been like this. I set myself up for a big disappointment. I guess I'm getting kind of used to it. With every crush, affair, relationship I have, I end up losing something, a part of my romantic side I guess. I believe less in love stories and my idea that there are no romantic soulmates out there is reinforced.

But there is one thing I continue to believe in: that although other people will let me down, my friends never will.

Threz, my relatives who I have come to consider as my confidantes. They know my every bad habit, good habit and everything in between. I will never forget our summers in Las Piñas and Cuenca. They have thrown me the best surprise birthday party I can remember, food fights, music and yes, our As. Over the years, we've had our ups and downs but somehow, we found a way to be there for each other. Thing have changed for all of us, we've been separated by the International Date Line and the Atlantic Ocean but somehow, to quote Michael Corleone from The Godfather movies "They pull me back in." I will always keep the letters written in cardboard, toilet paper, stationery and even cigarette packages that have been clandestinely delivered to each other. I will also cherish the late night conference calls and constant taunting and looking out the window with a faraway look in our eyes, thinking of cavemen. I will always find myself singing "Jingle bells, jingle bells it's Christmas time in the city..." in the middle of May and will abuse my vocal chords by reaching the highest notes of the Les Miserables soundtrack. I will look forward to the day that we will laugh at the times that our screams reached the other end of the solar system.

Kahit na anong mangyari, kahit na saan ka man patungo.

The Toxic Nips, who have been there with me during the toughest times of my life, going through adolescence with me. They have gone through the rebellious stage, teeny-bopper stage (well most of them) and the toughest Article 36 days with me. I could never have made it through high school without you. You gave me something to go home to every weekend when I was in college and now, I have a date to look forward to at least once a year. Even though we only have one barkada picture, that one picture holds a lot of memories.

Don't even have pictures, just memories to hold.

Grow sweeter each season as we slowly grow old.

My college blocmates, the future founding members of the EENG Law Offices, and SocioSoc. These people literally gave me a life back in college. While the Toxic Nips gave me something to go home to, you gave me something to look forward to whenever I went back to Los Baños. You have given me survival skills, boosted my self-confidence, showed me how to deal with all kinds of people and professors. You taught me to think outside the box and prepared me for law school in ways I could never imagine. We shared our dreams over bottles of alcohol and somehow we could solve the world's problems when we were drunk. I still have the Fundador bottle from one of our final rites. That bottle holds a message for me. There are others out there who share my dreams of turning this world into a better place for future generations.

But it's always you I run home to... take me home back to where I am free

My Poor People (you know who you are), law school was an adventure because of you. Although I got left behind, you're standing there in the finish line, cheering me on. You kept me grounded and always knew how to make me laugh. You made law school bearable when I couldn't see the point of going on. We shared the tears, laughter and craziness. Thank you for your patience and the company. I miss the library sessions, sneaking in Hot Shots and tikoy, movie dates in the middle of the week, study sessions in the field and in our kuta and classroom hopping. I look forward to September every year for our traditional night of good food, good music and good company.

Salamat, at may gabing nakalaan sa konting kasiyahan.

The June 21 Club, through all the silent dinners, races to the bathroom, torta days, ninja moves and threats of adoption. You have given a whole new meaning to "There's no place like home." I am happy and proud to call you family.

I'll be alright as long as it matters

As long as you're here with me now

Of course, who would forget the Garfield Group and Friends. The people at the far side of the Law Lecture Room where the food flows endlessly and the laughter is constant. Where you would hear the other people singing Hiram or Part of Your World from the other side and laugh silently without anyone noticing. The Garfield Group, who stand by each other through embarrassing recitations, pink tops and ten-foot high cases. According to Pambie, between our seats, there are no spaces.

You were there when I needed you.

You were there when the skies broke wide, wide open.

These people are my soul mates. We're interested in the same things, we enjoy each others' company, we speak the same language and Fate brought us all together and made our lives happier.

To My Lions and Tigers and Bears

It's about time I learn to let go of some things. I've been through a lot of ups and downs this past year that I need to sit down and catch up on things. I need to take some time to figure some things out.

I've fallen and picked myself up at least half a dozen times every month this year. I've harbored ill-will and entertained thoughts of slipping muriatic acid into certain people's food. I've laughed till I cried at jokes I've heard a thousand times and I've thrown a law book across the room out of frustration at least once this past week. Too much has been going on that I failed to appreciate the better things in life.

I failed to appreciate what good friends I have, who are all willing to stick with me through good times and the bad. I failed to see that there are still people who have faith in others, those that see the good inside everyone.

I'm not yet ready to forgive those who hurt me-- I'm not that good enough a person yet. But I am a good enough person the thank the people in my life. I am thankful for the sun, brightening my day like nothing else can and I am thankful for the moon for being there after the sun has gone down. I am grateful for the stars that guided me on this journey called life and the knowledge it brings that I have something to look up to during the darkest of hours. I am grateful for the flowers along the path for making me feel better when I feel down and the thorns on the roses for teaching me to be careful. I am grateful for the rain for washing away my fears and my sorrows. Most of all, I am grateful for those that kept me company on this journey called life-- my lions and tigers and bears.

Two months of being a 25-year-old gave me a crash course on letting go. I also learned to let go of the past... past memories, past loves and learned to live a life that isn't based on the what-ifs of the world. I had to let go of what I had (and what I thought I had) to make room for new things in my life. I learned how to sort through the memories and the people, through clothes and shoes, books and photographs, cases and scratch paper. I'm closer to figuring out which ones have to go and which ones to keep. I will surely keep my lions and tigers and bears with me.