My Bucket List

In four days, I have...

conquered my fear of heights...

explored the deep sea...

...and found an island of our own

who would have thought that one day, 

we'd take time to stop hitting each other and grow up?

Song of the Day: Free Falling (by Tom Petty)

Gonna free fall out into nothing

Gonna leave this world for a while

And I'm free...

Free falling

coming home

fourteen years has brought in a lot of changes.  but i still feel like the thirteen-year-old who had high hopes and starry eyes whenever she breathed the fresh mountain air.

Song of the Day: Rose in the Wind (by Anggun)

All alone as I wake

Moving in a new place

Shivering as I trace

A road of my own

Cut by the deep cold

future unknown

"The idea of the Pacifice sounded good, but I was afraid that actually being there would scare me to death-- the bigness of it." - Stephen King, Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption (from the novella Different Seasons)

tomorrow, i will be taking a step toward what i have always wanted to do.  i am hesitant and afraid of where it might lead but tingling with excitement... not different from how i felt the morning i rammed into a quasi-rockstar at a mall.  

i hope that this turns out to be as wonderful as that experience.  

i hope to be able to see all my dreams come true.

i hope i have the courage to take this leap of faith.

when all else fails, hope will be all i have.

so i hope.

Song of the Day: A Change In My Life

Standing cold and scared on top of blue hill,

There came one moment, when I lost my will.

I prayed for mercy, please Lord take me away.

Oh give me sunshine where I only see grey.

My past had a hold on me, it can't be denied,

And the changes don't come easily.

forgotten words

Success is counted sweetest 
By those who ne'er succeed. 
To comprehend a nectar 
Requires sorest need.

Not one of all the purple host 
Who took the flag to-day 
Can tell the definition, 
So clear, of victory!

As he, defeated, dying,
On whose forbidden ear
The distant strains of triumph
Burst agonized and clear!

- Emily Dickinson

Song of the Day: Dream On (by Aerosmith)
Yeah, I know nobody knows 
where it comes and where it goes 
I know it's everybody's sin 
You got to lose to know how to win 

Half my life's
in books' written pages 
Lived and learned from fools and 
from sages 
You know it's true 
All the feelings come back to you 

insomnia

awake for almost 20 hours now, i found myself thinking of how lulai described this feeling. kinikilig.  bittersweet and rarely felt.

the last time i actually enjoyed a sleepless night was on a january evening 5 years ago, also because of a 5 second conversation.  somehow, this feels sweeter although the time i've spent waiting is much shorter.

no more dreams of song lyrics and hot pink togas.  it's time to come down from cloud 9 and face the real world.

Song of the Day: Time and Tide (by Basia)

Give it time, baby

There's no rush

Gonna be a better day for us

Hang on and I will wait for you.

Friday, I'm in love

there is no other expression more appropriate than thank you. 

Song of the Day: Across the Universe (by The Beatles)

Limitless undying love 

Which shines around me like a million suns

It calls me on and on

Across the universe