“Ikaw ang panganay, ikaw na ang umintindi.” Seriously, is there any logical explanation to this sentence?
I appreciate the fact that I’m not an only child and that I get to play big sister sometimes and bully the younger ones around. Fine, I also accept that up to a certain point, I am my brothers’ keeper but there has to be a limit to this.
Yes, I am responsible for looking after them but I am not responsible for the choices they make especially if they have reached the legal age to be an adult. A person can only do so much. And a panganay can only take so much.
A few months ago I was playing with my nephews and the older one was pretty pissed. I asked him what was wrong and he said that he was just letting out steam because the younger one was always on his case. The younger one took the toys the older one was playing with and when the kuya played with something else, the younger one would abandon the toy or whatever property he unjustly took to play with the kuya’s new toy. The older one asked me why does he have to give everything up to this spoiled and selfish little brat? I totally got where that came from and the bad thing about it was that I couldn’t come up with an explanation. I honestly told him that this was one problem his Super Ninang couldn’t solve and that when I find a decent explanation or solution he’ll be the first to know.
Why is it that the older one always has to be the one who has to share? And that the younger one is spoon fed? They say that since the panganay is older, we should be more patient. Well, let me tell you people, that argument sucks. These younger siblings will reach adulthood and when they do, are we still supposed to understand the crappy decisions they make and the unfortunate situations they get themselves into? Will we still be expected to understand these things and sometimes be held responsible for them? These are adults who were presented with choices… why can’t parents accept that their spoiled little babies choose to bury themselves in unbelievably deep shit?
I appreciate the fact that I’m not an only child and that I get to play big sister sometimes and bully the younger ones around. Fine, I also accept that up to a certain point, I am my brothers’ keeper but there has to be a limit to this.
Yes, I am responsible for looking after them but I am not responsible for the choices they make especially if they have reached the legal age to be an adult. A person can only do so much. And a panganay can only take so much.
A few months ago I was playing with my nephews and the older one was pretty pissed. I asked him what was wrong and he said that he was just letting out steam because the younger one was always on his case. The younger one took the toys the older one was playing with and when the kuya played with something else, the younger one would abandon the toy or whatever property he unjustly took to play with the kuya’s new toy. The older one asked me why does he have to give everything up to this spoiled and selfish little brat? I totally got where that came from and the bad thing about it was that I couldn’t come up with an explanation. I honestly told him that this was one problem his Super Ninang couldn’t solve and that when I find a decent explanation or solution he’ll be the first to know.
Why is it that the older one always has to be the one who has to share? And that the younger one is spoon fed? They say that since the panganay is older, we should be more patient. Well, let me tell you people, that argument sucks. These younger siblings will reach adulthood and when they do, are we still supposed to understand the crappy decisions they make and the unfortunate situations they get themselves into? Will we still be expected to understand these things and sometimes be held responsible for them? These are adults who were presented with choices… why can’t parents accept that their spoiled little babies choose to bury themselves in unbelievably deep shit?
Furthermore, we're here to handle what the parents can’t. Some parents can be so blind with what their babies are capable of doing so the older sibling has to step up. And what happens? They take it as a sign of jealousy, want of attention, just plain sibling rivalry. Sometimes I can’t help but think that bad things happen to the people who follow the rules. That society rewards the screw-ups because they think that these people need help. They see them as helpless little people begging for sympathy but in reality, they led themselves to disaster by the &%*@Ked up choices they made. If that’s the way it works, then maybe I should screw my life up too. But then again, I’d still probably get the blame for that for setting a bad example for the younger ones. Older siblings follow every stupid rule in the book and if they make one little mistake, parents let them feel like crap and yet when the younger ones break all the rules and make a roomful of mistakes, they still get the help and the attention and the babying… so much babying that it makes me want to throw up.
Even the Bible's got something against the first born. The first born were struck down by the Angel of Death during the Passover. They're always the ones who are portrayed in an unflattering angle. Haven't we been punished enough with the burden of being responsible for someone else's actions? Have these people never heard of res inter alios acta, that someone can't be held liable for the acts, declarations or omission by another? Seriously, people. Is this what we were actually born to do? To try to undo the mistakes that we had no part in or at least take the blame for them?
“Ikaw ang panganay, ikaw ang umintindi.” So we get stuck with a horrible burden just because we were born a few years earlier? I admire those who understand the true meaning of this sentence because I admit, in the twenty-three years that I have had a younger sibling, I have analyzed this simple sentence over and over, even asked other people to explain it to me and somehow, no one can come up with a decent explanation for the sentence. So what now? Do we just accept it as is? Are we supposed to give up our lives simply because of the order of birth? I’m sorry but if they expect me to take this lying down, I’ve got two words for them… I WON’T.
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